wat bout pragnant strippers??
...so i touched it.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
