So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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