Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
