I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
