i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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