now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
