I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
