Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize