i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm passing your future prison.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
