38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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