i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
