really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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