whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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