We tried having a conversation with our noses.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
