yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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