it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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