Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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