I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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