found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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