Who wears a wallet chain?!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize