Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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