You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
A+ Viking dick
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
