i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
