Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
