I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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