i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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