You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
