new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
