Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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