I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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