IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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