youre lurking in front of me
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Boobs are out for the taking
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
