i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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