So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Randomize
