He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
