brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Help. Why am I so naked?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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