woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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