Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
