there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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