glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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