Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I came so hard my ears popped.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
