no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Randomize
