Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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