Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize