So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
