No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
