I want to have your abortion
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
please come you make the beer taste better
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
