I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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