..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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