At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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