He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
