whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
