we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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