I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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