Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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