5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
