If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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