you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
