So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I just googled if crying burns calories
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
