He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
