Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I party with great urgency now.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
