I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
