Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
