first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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