He is an equal opportunity slut.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
