he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My dick has a subreddit
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
