The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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