It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
