What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I would ride that face into the sunset
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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